Impatience Isn’t A Virtue

Patience may be a virtue, but it has never been one of my strong suits.

Given the fact that my girlfriend is coming up for a visit in just five more days, you’d think I’d be able to deal with that. After all, when we parted ways in Ely on September 11th, we had 38 days to go before seeing each other again. That seemed like an eternity. In comparison, 5 is nothing! It’s a skiff! A mere cosmic blink!

…so why am I bouncing off the walls, impatient as hell?

Probably because we’re going to have an awesome time. She’s flying into PDX Wednesday night, and after a leisurely morning here, we’re headed up to Seattle on Thursday (after a detour through Aberdeen to pay tribute to the late, great Kurt Cobain). We’re attending City Arts Fest, a three-night music festival chock full of some awesome indie rock bands, and staying with her mom. Can’t wait to finally meet you, Tracy! We’ve got a bunch of other fun things planned, too. I don’t want to divulge too much information at this point, but I’m sure I’ll have a really great blog entry to post afterwards. The whole trip will be a blast.

And also because when I left, I didn’t know what “we” were. I knew we’d had an amazing time together, but we weren’t officially a couple. One month ago today, we became one. So, yeah – I’m dying to see my girlfriend, and won’t have to stress over the whole what-are-we-and-where-is-this-going? thing. I can just relax and enjoy her company. And boy, will I.

Hurry up, already!!

See? Impatient as hell. In order to take my mind off Tara’s impending-but-still-five-damn-days-away arrival, I’m going to change the subject and write about a few random things that are on my mind right now.

Honey, I Shrunk The Shopping Carts

Like these miniature shopping carts that have popped up in Fred Meyer.

Looks like a couple of grownup shopping carts mated and produced this cute little guy!

The first time I saw one, I was like, “Holy Honey, I Shrunk The Shopping Carts!! How cute is this little fella?!” Which was a tad embarrassing because I always shop alone, but whatever. I half expected to see Rick Moranis pushing one around. Adorable, aren’t they? Kind of look like the offspring of a couple of grownup shopping carts. What kind of weird business takes place in grocery stores after hours, anyway??

I have quickly grown to love these guys. Typically when I go shopping I’m there for a handful of items – no more than seven or eight, tops. And sometimes they’re heavy. I mean, check out that bag of mushrooms I’ve got in there. They weighed a ton!! Lugging a bunch of stuff around in a basket may be a good way of building up your biceps, but oww. Which is why these little shopping carts are the greatest invention since the last really good invention, whatever that was.

Plus, not only are they versatile – small, easy to maneuver, with three individual compartments for a variety of grocery items – but they are FUN to drive! I mean, push around. And they corner very well. Trust me.

I was at the store the other day, and asked the cashier what sort of feedback they were getting on these things. She said everybody loves ‘em! I, for one, am not surprised. They’re always hard to find, as the store only has about a dozen at the moment. I’ve had to bum rush little old ladies to get my hot little hands on them.

Not really.

But I would. 

Got A Whole Lotta Loaf

I’ve always wanted a bread maker.

Well, not always. I wasn’t yearning for one back when I was in diapers, for instance. Plus, they didn’t even exist until 1986, according to the link. Let’s just say I’ve thought it would be cool to own one for years now, Mr. Foodie that I am. A coworker brought one in to the office one time, and for hours tortured us with the smell of freshly baking bread. It was delicious, too. I’ve always remembered that.

I never bought one because I was suspicious. Bread machines are for sale at practically every garage sale you stumble upon – and they’re usually really cheap. I figured, they must not be worth the trouble…why else would everybody be so eager to get rid of them? And sure enough, any time I’d ask about their bread maker, they’d say something like “I only used it once or twice…seemed like too much work.”

Too much work?! On the contrary, bread makers couldn’t be easier to use! All you do is measure out a few ingredients, put them in the pan, and press start. Seriously, it’s that easy. You sit back and, three hours later, end up with a perfect loaf of bread. I know this, because I finally broke down and bought one last week. Off Craigslist. Cheap.

And it works like a charm! I grabbed a few ingredients from Freddy’s last week (flour, yeast, etc.), placed them in my baby cart, brought ‘em home, and a few hours later had a loaf of hot cheddar chive bread to serve to my dinner guests. And then last night, I made banana macadamia nut bread, which I turned into probably the best French toast of my life this morning. I’d say this bread maker will pay for itself in no time!

Between “Breaking Bad” and “Dexter”…

The past two Sunday nights have been the best TV nights ever.

I love both shows. I’d have to give the edge to Breaking Bad, though. It’s the story of a former high school chemistry teacher who was diagnosed with cancer and ends up cooking meth to provide for his family. He was once a good and noble guy, but has since transformed into a truly heartless and just plain bad son of a bitch. It makes for riveting drama. Dexter centers on a serial killer who only victimizes other people who have committed murder. Great concept, especially watching him deal with his “Dark Passenger” while trying to raise a toddler on his own. Both Michael C. Hall and Bryan Cranston are phenomenal in their roles, and those two shows represent my ideal block of Must See TV.

Unfortunately, Breaking Bad‘s season just ended, and it won’t return until next summer. This does not bode well for me. Impatient as hell, remember?

Speaking of…is it Wednesday yet?!?!?!?!

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Categories: Daily Life, Food, Love & Stuff, Pop Culture

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20 replies

  1. How classic, Mark–Honey I shrunk the shoping cart. I love it!

    However, I’m here to tell you I understand your impatience regarding Tara’s arrival. Sometimes the closer the reunion gets, the more agonizing the separtion. When Sara and I first got together, she was still working for long stretches at a time in Asia–reponse to the 2004 tsunami. It was agonizing at times–especially about a week before she was scheduled to come home, and I would think I was going to die if she didn’t get here NOW! Hang in there, my friend!

    Kathy

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    • Maybe it’s the whole “so close you can practically taste it” phenomenon! Whatever, with each passing day it’s been harder and harder to deal. SO GLAD I’ll see her in just 126 hours! (But who’s counting?)….

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  2. Bahahahaaa!! A SKIFF! Totally cracked me up!

    I now have a mental image of you hunkered down in front of a baby cart, patting the handle and saying, “Hi there, little fella! Ready to go for a spin with Uncle Mark?” Don’t be offended if I can’t keep a straight face the next time we’re at the store together.

    Next week is going to be EPIC, fo sho!

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    • I thought you’d get a kick out of the whole “skiff” thing. ;)

      And, look – we never talked about the baby shopping carts before. THAT was new to you! Although you are painfully aware of how much I do miss you and am looking forward to seeing you. :)

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      • Painfully aware because I’m missing you just as much. The butterflies are starting to flutter a little bit and we still have five days to go. Torture, I tell ya!

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  3. I’m exhausted after reading this post. It seems like it covers more than just a few topics – must be the bouncing impatience carrying through.

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  4. Have a great time! Can’t wait to read all about it.

    I have a breadmaker. Love it but never plan ahead to actually MAKE the bread in time for the meal.

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  5. Oh Mark…I can’t wait to finally meet you too. Unfortunately, I have to be patience! I’m just so happy for you and Tara and like I said in one of your earlier posts, you are the answer to my prayers…Thank you Lord!

    Now, about them cute shopping carts…seriously, you are just now getting them down there? Not to brag (okay, I am a little), but we’ve had them up here for quite some time. I just love them because they are handier than a basket and not quite so cumbersome as those bigger bad boys. Not that I’m telling you something you don’t already know! I think the older ladies will be fine as long as they have a motorized one available :)

    Besides taste and smell, the other great thing about making homemade bread is the kneading. ‘Nuff said!!

    Not going to comment about the shows since I don’t watch either of them….I know! I know!! I don’t know what I’m missing but there are only so many hours in a day for guilty pleasures and reading your blog is one of them. So there!! ;)

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    • You do realize you give me a big head every time you say I’m the answer to your prayers, right? (Having said that, you don’t have to stop. I love it). ;)

      Seattle is always just one step ahead of Portland, aren’t they? I was reading an article about the future of shopping carts while writing this post. Would you believe they are not only going to get even smaller and sleeker, but they’ll come equipped with handheld computers? Shopping is going to be so much fun in the future!!

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  6. “Patience may be a virtue, but it has never been one of my strong suits.”

    OMG…me too, Mark! I am sooooo impatient. In fact, I just wrote a post about how impatient I am, that I may be publishing on Monday.

    Hell, I’m even impatient for your meeting with Tara and her mom too! And I can’t wait to hear all about it!

    LOVE those small grocery carts too! Trader Joe’s has them and their awesome for people like my who are single and only have to shop for one. They’re perfect! Plus, I just think they’re so damn cute!

    Bread maker – I always wanted one of those because we use to use them at William-Sonoma every morning before the store opened to make bread for olive oil dipping. The make the best bread. And FAST!

    Have a great weekend, buddy!

    P.S. Love Dexter!

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    • Well, Ron – I’m impatient to read your post on impatience! Must you wait until Monday to post it?? And…what a damn, vicious circle we’re trapped in.

      I haven’t seen those baby carts at my Trader Joe’s yet…but hey, any excuse I can find to head to TJs is a good one!

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  7. LOL I could totally envision you running past old ladies in their embroidered sweatshirts and grabbing the baby cart and scooting past them with one leg sticking out. It’s all very graceful in my mind and quite amusing.

    Have the best fun in 5 days with Tara and Tracy. Once again, I’m so happy for you both! The festival sounds awesome; I can’t wait to hear about the shenanigans and lovely times you have together. Are Audrey and Rusty joining you?

    And lastly, yes, Dexter is awesome. Have you seen Weeds? You’d probably like that show too.

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    • Those old ladies have been around for a long time. They can fend for themselves just fine!

      No kids joining us on this trip, but Tara will be returning for Thanksgiving (yay!) and is looking forward to meeting Audrey and Rusty then. Or perhaps sooner, if we meet up in Boise like we’re considering.

      I have not seen Weeds but I have a friend who is always being compared to Mary Louise Parker and who also happens to love the show. I suppose I’ll have to Netflix it and catch up one of these years.

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  8. Holy hyper Mark! Jeeze, Just go get her already, You exhausted me reading this post – but you two are so cute :)

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  9. OMGYAYSQUEE!!!!!

    SO excited for you. <3 Have a great time, I know you will.

    and my grocery store has the mini shopping carts too and I LOVE them. (although the mental image in my head right now of you knocking over old ladies to get to them is kind of hysterical. As is the image that Tara posted above. ;) )

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  10. I hope you have a great time with your girlfriend! You will have to take her out for a spin on the shopping cart ;)

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