Tag Archives: blogging

Why I’ll Never Be A Trucker

by

30

I’ve been back from my trip for a week now, and have had a surprisingly difficult time readjusting to a normal routine, both physically and mentally. After going for two weeks with little sleep, it seems my body has been overcompensating in that department. I find myself tired early, and sleeping soundly every night; last night I got about 9.5 hours(!), and this was after dozing off in my chair earlier in the evening. Not sure what’s up with that, but I decided I need some stimulation, as yesterday was the epitome of a lazy day spent doing nothing. I had planned on going for a hike today, but the weather was cool and wet, so I’m saving that for later in the week. I went to the movies instead – it’s $5 Tuesday, after all. My choice? Horrible Bosses, because I really like the cast (they’re all excellent: Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, Jason Sudeikis, Colin Farrell, Jamie Foxx, Kevin Spacey in his best role since American Beauty, Jennifer Aniston in her nakedest role since The Break-Up, and a couple of surprise cameos). And also, because I’ve had some horrible bosses. I had come across a scathing review in the local paper, but Rotten Tomatoes gave it a pretty good score, and it received an A- in Entertainment Weekly, so I decided to check it out…and I’m glad I did! It’s raunchy and crude (but not obnoxiously so) and riotously funny at times. I would say it’s probably the funniest movie I’ve seen since The Hangover (and similar in tone). Trust me, that’s high praise. Getting out seems to have done me some good, too: I feel much more energetic today.

I've had a few in my day! (Courtesy of stickerhunt.net).

I’ve also been missing the open road. For a few days I was thankful to be back home; everything felt new again. But then, pretty quickly, it felt old again, and I found myself longing for the excitement of traveling to new destinations and seeing new sights. I wrote that my trip cured the aching sense of wanderlust that had gripped my very soul, but maybe that was short-lived. I suspect the travel bug is more contagious than I assumed, for I began fantasizing about hopping in the car and doing it all over again…somewhere, anywhere. But of course, that can’t – and won’t – happen. Unless I become a truck driver, an idea that flittered briefly through my head last week. Driving an 18-wheeler, I thought, would give me the perfect opportunity to see the United States! But then I realized two drawbacks. First off, I would be on a tight schedule. Sure, I’d get to see a lot of the country, but always from the bed of my cab – I couldn’t just pull off into some random cornfield on a whim. Second, I would hate myself. Those damn semis irritated me to no end; they were constantly going too slow or, worse, pulling out right in front of me to pass another truck that was going too slow for their tastes. I cursed them repeatedly, admonishing them to “stay in their own damn lane” time and time again, or at least to wait until I passed to pull into the fast lane, but they never listened to me. Plus, truckers are a little scary. I’m much too clean-cut to fit in. So, no career in the long-haul trucking industry for me, apparently. I am, in the meantime, buckling down and trying my damnedest to find a job. And, this ennui – this desire to be on the move, exploring, driving, adventuring – appears to be on the wane, as well. I find myself eager to get out and see and do the things I love around Portland the most, rather than heading off into the great unknown. Today is the first time that I feel like “myself” since returning. This is a good thing!

It would never work out: I'd annoy myself to death. (Courtesy of hubpages.com)

I also inadvertently forgot to write about one of the highlights of my trip – meeting a fellow blogger and long-distance friend, Laurie, my first night in Dayton. I blame a crappy internet connection in which I was “stealing” wi-fi from the parking lot of Bob Evans in a hot car with rolled-up windows on a muggy evening as the sun went down – I was in such a hurry to write about my childhood home and elementary school, I never got a chance to mention our meeting. Better late than never, though! I have known Laurie for more than five years now; we used to write on the same online journaling site, and got to know each other through our posts. We have a lot in common: an Ohio connection, we’re the same age, both divorced, both parents, both Whose Line Is It Anyway? connoisseurs, and we’ve both had dating “adventures” that – trust me – you simply wouldn’t believe. Ahh, if I had the freedom to write about those…but, anyway. We’ve helped each other out through some difficult times, and pretty much know one another’s deepest, darkest secrets. I just always figured we’d be online friends but would probably never meet, since we were thousands of miles apart, but then suddenly there I was in Dayton, about an hour from her home in Columbus. How could we not?

My first evening there – Wednesday, June 29th – she and her son, Neil drove down to visit me at the Day’s Inn I’d checked into. It was hot, and the A/C in her car wasn’t working, so she practically collapsed into a chair next to the air-conditioner upon arriving, while her son entertained himself mostly by jumping up and down on the bed. There was nothing even remotely awkward about seeing her; we chatted easily, like two old friends, which is pretty much what we are. After awhile the three of us walked over to the Bob Evans next door for dinner (I got a chicken pot pie that was one of the highlights of my trip, and Laurie ordered breakfast), where the excellent conversation continued. We hung out for awhile longer back in the room, where Neil decided I was a pretty likable guy and stretched out beside me on one of the beds (mom was on the other) while listening to music on an iPod. It was getting late, so eventually I walked them out to their car and we said goodbye.

I wanted to mention all this because it is one of the most appealing aspects of blogging to me: the friendships that I have made over the years, beginning with nothing more than words on a computer screen and culminating in actual meetings in person. By and large, these people have become confidantes and – I am sure – lifelong friends. Monica in Sacramento, Tara from Nevada, Heidi from California, and now Laurie – I feel close to them all, and lucky to count them as friends. I never had lasting friendships as a child thanks to all the moving around, so these relationships are extra special to me, and I treasure them all.

And because I’m a perfectionist completist, I’ve added the Laurie story (ooh, it rhymes!) to my official Day 8 report from the road.

“Unto Death?!” Well, this is going to be an interesting year…

by

25

And now, the number 42 is not only the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything (according to Douglas Adams, anyway), but also my new age. I can’t say I’m too fond of it: turning 40 was hard enough, and each additional year just feels like adding insult to injury. Plus, in the Japanese culture, 42 is considered an unlucky number because when you pronounce the numerals separately, “shi ni” (four two) sounds very much like the phrase “unto death.” Boy, isn’t that cheery!?

We’ve all got to contend with birthdays though, and there is no escaping the fact that yesterday was mine. At least I don’t look my age (and heaven knows I don’t act it!). This runs in the family – neither of my parents look like they’re in their mid-60s, either. It’s as if we were all blessed with a gene that makes us look a good 5-10 years younger. If I could figure out how to replicate it and sell it, I’d be a rich man. Forget about that Botox crap.

"Shi ni." This spells doom for me! (Courtesy of en.wikipedia.org)

As far as birthdays go, this one neither astounded nor disappointed. I had the kids, so that meant the usual multiple runs to and from school, compounded by the fact that Wednesdays are early release days for Audrey. I got a long-overdue oil change on my car. Took a break from any job-seeking or writing activities. Went out for a celebratory dinner at the Olive Garden with the kids. Didn’t have a birthday cake, but was too full for one, anyway. While it certainly didn’t live up to the best birthday ever – one that involved German chocolate cake, a skirt with nothing on underneath, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, and peanut shells (how I’d love to elaborate, but I’m ever mindful of the fact that I have relatives reading and there are some indecencies best left under wraps…just know that I was not the one wearing the skirt) – it was definitely a far cry from my worst birthday ever (which occurred one year prior to the best and was punctuated by a figurative stab to the heart). I guess you could say 42 just was.

By the way, the Pork Milanese I ordered from the O.G. was literally the best pork Milanese I’ve ever eaten.

Tonight’s dinner is going to pale in comparison. Once a week when the kids are here I declare it “sandwich night,” which is nothing more than an excuse to allow me to take a break from cooking for one evening. We all just make our own sandwiches, usually accompanied by Top Ramen or Campbell’s soup. I can’t say I ever look forward to sandwich night – other than the not-having-to-cook part – but for some reason, Rusty thinks it’s the greatest thing since sliced bread (of course, technically it is sliced bread). He gets super excited whenever I announce it’s sandwich night, and usually pumps his fist in the air and exclaims, “yessss!” Which inevitably makes me wonder why I go to the trouble of fixing homemade, hearty, delicious meals the rest of the week when he’s perfectly fine with PB&J and ramen noodles. “I could eat this every night,” he says, as if to drive the point home.

Teenagers are weird. But whatever…as long as I get a break from kitchen duty one night.

I have a friend I met here who was questioning whether she should continue blogging or not, and a lot of the comments she received seconded the notion that maybe blogging is too time-consuming, isn’t “real” writing, takes away from other pursuits, turns us into attention-seeking stats monkeys, etc. I was a little surprised by how many sort of questioned the value of this whole pursuit, but I guess it all depends on what you’re hoping to get out of the experience. For me, I blog because I have to. Writing is as essential to me as breathing, and it’s got to be more than penning articles…I need a creative outlet. The idea that anybody will actually pay attention to my words is almost secondary to me. For the first nine months I blogged here, I had almost no readers, and I suppose I could have continued that way indefinitely, but I made a concerted effort to grow my blog, mostly because I consider it a very important piece in my Master Plan. I am essentially building a brand in the hope that one day I’ll be a published author.

That is why I ditched the pseudonym and am now using my real name throughout the blogosphere. For the longest time I wasn’t sure I wanted to do this, but then I read a post by another blogging buddy, Jess Witkins, that talked about utilizing social media to achieve your goals, and part of that was devoted to the idea that, as a writer, your name is your brand. This made sense to me. On the one hand, I would like to protect certain elements of my privacy – the kids’ real names, for instance – but on the other, establishing yourself as a brand can only help when it comes time to getting published. Besides, all anybody had to do was click on a link or two on this blog and they’d uncover my true identity. I kind of felt like Superman “disguised” as Clark Kent. How can nobody figure out who he really is? The disguise takes pretty much no effort to uncover! 

I’m not saying this approach will work for everybody, but for me, it’s perfect. And also explains my sudden, renewed interest in Twitter. We’ll see how that goes.

Just for fun, and to make this whole experience a little more interactive, I’m going to throw a poll out there and ask you what topics you’d like me to write about more often.

Alas, there is no “German chocolate cake, skirt without anything underneath, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, peanut shells” option. Nice try, though…

Punters Punt, Divers Dive, & Writers Write

by

32

If you’re going to call yourself a writer, there’s just a single prerequisite – one thing, and one thing only, that you must do.

Write.

Seems pretty basic, doesn’t it? If you’re a punter on an NFL team, you’ll be lacing up your shoes following every possession and punting the ball. Your job description is right there in your title. If you’re a diver, you aren’t going to sit around reading books about coral reefs – you’re going to slip into a wetsuit and literally take the plunge. The same is true of butchers and bakers and candlestick makers.

Yet, for some reason, in recent weeks I had strayed from my self-anointed path.

I found myself reading a lot of books on freelance writing. And completing profiles on freelance sites like oDesk. Planning story ideas in my head. I was busy doing everything but the one thing I should have been doing all along: writing.

I’m not even sure how I fell into this trap of suddenly and persistently not writing. For a couple of months, my days were spent hunched over the computer, knocking out articles for my clients. And then I grew bored with the SEO assignments and broke up with a client, and the Groupon gig fell through. I sort of completely lost the will to write after that. Why should I bother? I thought. Either way, I’m getting paid the same amount every week. It’s easy to justify your laziness that way, because it’s true. I get paid $xxx.xx amount every week from the state of Washington. If I’ve earned income from self-employment that week, it’s deducted from my unemployment earnings, so it’s not like I gain anything from busting my butt on a daily basis.

I’ve realized, though, that while I may not have been gaining anything financially, I had definitely lost something: my passion. And that is inexcusable.

Why am I a writer? Because it’s what I love to do, plain and simple. It’s not the idea or the dream that I love, either – it’s the very process of creating. It doesn’t matter that I’m not a published novelist yet or earning $50K a year. I still rely on unemployment to get by…so what? The truth is, not writing is like stepping into a void. It leaves me feeling empty and without purpose. I don’t like that feeling.

Star Wars

Write, you should. (Courtesy of starwars.wikia.com).

You’ve probably heard of “the writer’s high.” I can tell you that isn’t just a nifty-sounding phrase, but a very real phenomenon. When I am writing, I feel a sense of euphoria wash over me. I am connected to the words on the screen, and can practically feel the creativity pumping in my blood and pulsing through my veins. It feels good, and like any junkie I crave more. More, more, more. I imagine it’s exactly how a punter feels when he’s squaring off against the ball in a packed stadium full of cheering and jeering fans, and how a diver feels while descending through the depths of Davy Jones’ locker. Alive. In their element. Full of purpose.

It’s very easy to be lazy. All you’ve got to do is nothing. And, I’ve learned, that’s contagious. If you’ve done nothing yesterday, you’ll feel like doing nothing today, and when tomorrow rolls around guess what you’ll be doing?

Doing something is a lot harder. That actually takes effort. But if it’s something you’re passionate about, not so much.

Sheesh, I feel like Yoda. Next I’ll be spouting off lines like, “Do or do not. There is no try.” Or designing motivational posters for office walls. The important thing is, I had an epiphany this week. I remembered that I’m a writer. And I began to write again.

If you’re a writer, I’ve come up with a few tips that will hopefully lead to success. These are things I’m tryi…err, doing (sorry, Yoda!) now.

  • Don’t bother with freelance outsource bidding sites. There are plenty of them out there – oDesk and elance.com are a couple of the better-known ones – but they are not worth your time. If you don’t believe me, read this. Basically you’ll find yourself competing against others for slave wages. Personally, I felt like I was part of a herd of cattle at an auction where each animal goes to the lowest bidder. Hey, I fired my first client because they were “only” paying me $12 per article – and then found myself competing for jobs promising $4 an article. Yes, I was temporarily insane.
  • “Content mills” aren’t necessarily evil. Though they often get a bad rap, so-called content mills – websites that pay freelancers to churn out articles that help the site rank highly on search engines – can be a good source of income, and provide steady work. Take Demand Studios, for instance (best known for eHow.com). I have been writing for them since January, and my experience has been nothing but positive. Here’s why: I choose which topics to write about from a continuously evolving queue (this morning there were 66,230 articles to choose from); each article pays a minimum of $15, and the format and structure enable a good writer to easily pen two or three an hour. I don’t know about you, but I’d call $45/hour pretty decent! Even doing one article an hour isn’t bad. Payments are made directly to your PayPal account twice a week, and you get your own byline. Plus, they don’t hire anybody off the street – you have to apply and write several sample articles that pass muster with their copy editors. I know people who have been rejected. It may not be the most glamorous writing you’ll ever do, but it’s a great way to hone your skills, build your portfolio, and leverage yourself to take it to the next level.
  • Aim for the stars. While it’s important to have a reliable source of income, $15 an article is still $15 article. If you’re going to be successful, you have to set your sights high and take a few risks. Last week I pitched a story idea to Portland Monthly, a regional magazine with a loyal subscriber base. If they accept the assignment, I’ll write about an unemployed single Oregon mother following her dream and starting her own business in the midst of a down economy. This person just happens to be my friend and sometime-client Chris from Portland Book Review. This would be great publicity for her, and freelance assignments with magazines are where the money – and glory – are. I plan to query some national publications next. A few clips in magazines can open a lot of doors that would be otherwise closed.
  • Don’t forget your blog! Blogging is the perfect creative outlet – you can write about tortilla chips that look like states or why you should avoid eating at Mexican restaurants with sombreros on the wall or whatever your heart desires. Sometimes you can even write about writing – how existential is that? Plus, it keeps your skills fresh and your brain from turning to mush. A few blogs even become ultra-popular and lead to fame and riches. Or so I’ve heard. Plus, it’s free publicity, and if done well can be an excellent showcase for your writing. Just don’t denigrate corporate America and scare off any potential employers!

There you have it – a few writing tips from a guy who isn’t yet a huge success, but has at least remembered who he is and what he does and is once again doing it.

Write on!

 

Related Articles

What’s In A Name?

by

14

I’m getting pretty serious about this whole blogging thing. So much so that, when I spent a few hours at Powell’s Books in downtown Portland earlier in the week, I emerged with a book called Blogging For Fame And Fortune. Now, I don’t honestly expect to get rich or famous here. For one thing, I cringe at the idea of selling ad space – I think that detracts from the “professional” image I’m trying to establish. The truth is, I’m just trying to have fun and hopefully showcase my writing style. It’s one more weapon in my let’s-get-published arsenal. But the book does have tons of good advice on blogging, everything from what to write about to how to market it and which widgets to add. I tore through 100 pages that first day. I’m eating this stuff up.

Finding the perfect domain name is tough! (Image courtesy of drylinehosting.com).

I’d been thinking about domain names for awhile. WordPress is awesome – easy to use, great features, tons of support – but I’m trying to build a “brand name”, if you will. Mark My Words. It’s catchy, and since my name is Mark, and these are my words, well…it’s pretty much perfect. So I thought, instead of having people find me through http://markp427.wordpress.com, how cool would it be if I owned markmywords.com? So I did a bit of research, located a domain name registrar (godaddy.com – so that’s what they do! I only knew their name from those sexy Super Bowl ads they air every year). I eagerly typed markmywords.com into the search field…only to find that the domain name was already registered. To some guy in Virginia, who’d bought it in 2000 and paid up through 2016. Now, there was no corresponding website, so basically this guy was just sitting on the name. He probably owns countless others. People snatch those things up and then turn around and try to sell them for a profit. If only I’d had a crystal ball and registered something like starbucks.com when the internet was in its infancy. I might be a rich man today.

So, I contacted the guy. There are domain name acquisition services, that typically charge $60-$70 + 10% commission to contact the domain name owners and negotiate a sale for you, but why pay somebody else to do your own dirty work? All that information is public, and contained in what’s called a WhoIs database. I sent Carl a brief, polite e-mail. Said I was just wondering if he might be willing to sell the domain name to me. His response was very to-the-point.

I live in America; everything is for sale, only question is how much. This is pricy, but give it a shot.

Which immediately established Carl as a greedy little bastard. I could go on an anti-Capitalism rant here, but I already have a well-deserved reputation as a liberal, so I’ll abstain. I would consider paying, I don’t know, $100 or so for the domain name, but the guy owns it for another six years and I’m sure his asking price is considerably higher. Plus, I’m unemployed. So, I went back to godaddy.com and searched for alternate names. Good news: markmywords.asia was available! Bad news: dot Asia?! I know I’m a celebrity in Japan, but still. I also could have purchased .co (too confusing, everybody would be looking for the missing “m”); .cc (never heard of it); and .mobi (huh?). None of those appealed to me. Then I saw a suggestion box with other alternate possibilities. mymarkmywords.com, themarkmywords.com, markmywordstoday.com. Most of them were stupid and made no sense. But…wait a minute…there was markmywordssite.com. Hmm – not too bad. Makes sense – it’s the website for markmywords. Definitely keeps the focus on the tagline. It was available for $11.95 a year, so I decided to bite the bullet and snatched it up. I was almost giddy with excitement – I owned my own domain name!!

Where's .asia? (Image courtesy of thedigeratilife.com).

About 30 seconds later, I realized, I had no idea what to do with it, though. I figured there had to be a way to link my existing WP blog to it, and luckily, there was. It took a few brief steps – changing the “nameservers” on my registered domain, and then paying another $12/year to WordPress in order to make it my primary name. But, voila – it’s done! And, for me – considering my long-term goals – worth it. Now, anybody can find me at: http://markmywordssite.com. The WP link will also redirect there. I like that it feels more professional. Plus, it’s just cool, owning your own domain name.

You know what, Carl? Bite me.

This past week I would characterize as a good mixture of business and pleasure. I’d been cooped up too much the week before, and while searching for a job is important, taking time out to do other things and have some fun is crucial. I had a mandatory “Orientation to Re-Employment Services” meeting at the local worksource center early on Tuesday morning, which was kind of a drag, because it’s depressing to sit around in a room with a bunch of other unemployed people. Plus, they made me get up early. The nerve! While a lot of the information was pretty basic – how to fill out forms, the importance of resumes – I did learn a few things, and met one-on-one with an employment specialist, so in the end it was worth it. That afternoon I took myself to the movies to see Paranormal Activity 2 because a couple of the local theaters have $5 Tuesdays. Great price, considering matinees are now upwards of $8. I may have to make this a weekly ritual. The movie was good – creepy, and lived up to the original.

Wednesday was a completely lazy day. I never showered or even changed out of my pajama pants. I won’t make that a habit, but it was cold and rainy, and it felt good to do that. I still looked for jobs, and found a good one to apply for, so it’s not like I didn’t do anything. Thursday I trekked into Portland for the aforementioned visit to Powell’s. Before that, I hunted down one of the city’s infamous food carts, Koi Fusion. They offer up a fusion of Korean and Mexican food, and are always ranked as one of the best food carts in town. I tried a spicy pork burrito that came loaded with both rice and kimchee. Sure enough, it was delicious! I should do a proper review on another entry. It was one of those soaking wet days with constant heavy rain showers rolling through, and I ended up drenched, but had a blast anyway.

I’m not sure what this weekend holds in store. The weather is turning colder, and they’re throwing around the “S” word a lot. As in, snow. Not a big deal in other parts of the country, but here in the Pacific Northwest, a little bit of snow shuts down the city. Sounds like our best chance is Sunday night and Monday, so it wouldn’t surprise me if the kids end up with a snow day, seeing as how the public education system around here goes into a panic the moment a few flurries fall.

Crossing my fingers though, because I love snow.