Tag Archives: Dexter

Mr. DeMille, I’m Ready for My Closeup

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My life has been unusually balanced lately.

In the past, it has seemed like there were hardly enough hours in the day to get everything accomplished – even being out of work. I’d felt like I was too busy online to watch any TV, too busy watching TV to read a book, too busy reading a book to sleep, too busy sleeping to get online. It was a vicious circle from which there was seemingly no escape. This dates back years, and it was worse when I had a job, because then I was too busy working to get anything done. For whatever reason though, lately it feels like I’ve been branching out and getting lots of things done without spreading myself too thin, leading to a strange but welcome sense of harmony. I feel all Zen-like and at peace, like no goal is too distant or out of reach. Like I can take on the world, even.

I feel like there is nothing I can’t try. Never heard the word “impossible.” This time, there’s no stopping me. I’m gonna do it!

Good lord, did I just channel the spirit of Laverne & Shirley?! Schlemeel, schlamazel indeed.

Anyway…..

Take yesterday, for example. I woke up after a solid eight hours of sleep. Brewed a pot of coffee, read the paper. Watched some TV. Made a killer sandwich for lunch. Applied for a whole bunch of jobs while listening to music. Put away dishes, cleaned the kitchen, topped off the aquarium, scooped the litterbox, watched a little more TV, headed to my parents’ house for dinner, came home, chatted with my girlfriend for more than two hours, read a couple of chapters of The Hunger Games (which I finally picked up and started the other day, and became instantly infatuated with), and then went to bed. That, my friends, is a full day. And very balanced.

Oh, and I also applied to be an extra on a TV show. That came right after dinner with my parents but before the phone call with my girlfriend, if you’re keeping track.

Earlier in the day, I’d checked out Grimm for the first time. It’s a drama on NBC centered around a homicide detective who learns he is a descendant of the brothers Grimm, whose dark and sinister fairy tale characters weren’t just figments of the imagination, but real-life creatures who have preyed on humanity for centuries. This guy can see through their disguises and must protect the citizens of present day Portland, Oregon from their maniacal plots. Pretty cool concept, though in truth I was drawn to it mainly because it is set in Portland. I enjoyed the first episode very much, and intend to get caught up since the rest of the season is available for viewing On Demand. My tastes in television have definitely evolved over the years; I’ve dropped a lot of reality TV and standard issue procedurals (like C.S.I.) in favor of darker and quirkier programming. Think The Walking Dead and Dexter and Breaking Bad and ABC’s new drama The River. So in that regard, Grimm is right up my alley.

Hey, I could be Random Dead Body #3! (Courtesy of poptower.com).

After finishing the show I got on Facebook and, coincidentally, there was a link from one of the local news stations – a story about how Grimm was putting out a casting call and looking for extras. They’re shooting episodes around Portland from now until April and are looking for a good mix of people to fill a variety of different roles, including stand-in, speaking, and non-speaking extras. The article went on to state that “ALL ages are welcome; ALL body types; ALL experience levels; and ALL roles are paid.” Well hell, I thought. Why not throw my hat in the ring? Might as well take advantage of this still-unemployed situation while I can.

Maybe it’ll lead to bigger and better things. Question: do they hand out Emmy awards for Random Guy Walking Down The Street? What if I’m a really convincing stroller?! I’m willing to practice, you know. I’m a firm believer in “method acting.” I’ll spend all day walking down the street if I have to, just so I can really nail the role. I can mix things up a little, too. Have a newspaper tucked beneath my arm in one scene. Maybe hold a Starbucks cup in another. And I’m willing to improvise. Whip out my phone and hold a fake conversation. Pretend to hail a taxi. Jump away from the curb in order to avoid being splashed by a bicyclist careening through a puddle. I can’t wait ’til they seat me next to Bryan Cranston at the awards ceremonies (I won’t let fame go to my head, I promise, but I’m going to insist on this arrangement; he is so fantastic on Breaking Bad that I’d like to pick his brain on future walking-down-the street ideas, like for instance, could I get away with skipping if the scene was in need of a little levity? What about impromptu hop-scotching?). I’ll do whatever I need to, because we actors take our craft very seriously.

I draw the line at nudity, though.

Unless it’s tastefully done and central to the plot, of course.

So, we’ll see what comes of this! The application process was straightforward and simple. I had to answer a few questions (height, weight, shoe size, make and  model of my car, do I own a dog and would I be willing to bring him on the set (okay, that one was a little odd, but aren’t those Hollywood folk a strange lot to begin with?)) and submit a couple of photos. Done, and done. Now I’ll just wait for the president of NBC to call me personally and tell me I’m hired.

Or, you know. Some assistant of an assistant to an assistant.

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Impatience Isn’t A Virtue

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Patience may be a virtue, but it has never been one of my strong suits.

Given the fact that my girlfriend is coming up for a visit in just five more days, you’d think I’d be able to deal with that. After all, when we parted ways in Ely on September 11th, we had 38 days to go before seeing each other again. That seemed like an eternity. In comparison, 5 is nothing! It’s a skiff! A mere cosmic blink!

…so why am I bouncing off the walls, impatient as hell?

Probably because we’re going to have an awesome time. She’s flying into PDX Wednesday night, and after a leisurely morning here, we’re headed up to Seattle on Thursday (after a detour through Aberdeen to pay tribute to the late, great Kurt Cobain). We’re attending City Arts Fest, a three-night music festival chock full of some awesome indie rock bands, and staying with her mom. Can’t wait to finally meet you, Tracy! We’ve got a bunch of other fun things planned, too. I don’t want to divulge too much information at this point, but I’m sure I’ll have a really great blog entry to post afterwards. The whole trip will be a blast.

And also because when I left, I didn’t know what “we” were. I knew we’d had an amazing time together, but we weren’t officially a couple. One month ago today, we became one. So, yeah – I’m dying to see my girlfriend, and won’t have to stress over the whole what-are-we-and-where-is-this-going? thing. I can just relax and enjoy her company. And boy, will I.

Hurry up, already!!

See? Impatient as hell. In order to take my mind off Tara’s impending-but-still-five-damn-days-away arrival, I’m going to change the subject and write about a few random things that are on my mind right now.

Honey, I Shrunk The Shopping Carts

Like these miniature shopping carts that have popped up in Fred Meyer.

Looks like a couple of grownup shopping carts mated and produced this cute little guy!

The first time I saw one, I was like, “Holy Honey, I Shrunk The Shopping Carts!! How cute is this little fella?!” Which was a tad embarrassing because I always shop alone, but whatever. I half expected to see Rick Moranis pushing one around. Adorable, aren’t they? Kind of look like the offspring of a couple of grownup shopping carts. What kind of weird business takes place in grocery stores after hours, anyway??

I have quickly grown to love these guys. Typically when I go shopping I’m there for a handful of items – no more than seven or eight, tops. And sometimes they’re heavy. I mean, check out that bag of mushrooms I’ve got in there. They weighed a ton!! Lugging a bunch of stuff around in a basket may be a good way of building up your biceps, but oww. Which is why these little shopping carts are the greatest invention since the last really good invention, whatever that was.

Plus, not only are they versatile – small, easy to maneuver, with three individual compartments for a variety of grocery items – but they are FUN to drive! I mean, push around. And they corner very well. Trust me.

I was at the store the other day, and asked the cashier what sort of feedback they were getting on these things. She said everybody loves ‘em! I, for one, am not surprised. They’re always hard to find, as the store only has about a dozen at the moment. I’ve had to bum rush little old ladies to get my hot little hands on them.

Not really.

But I would. 

Got A Whole Lotta Loaf

I’ve always wanted a bread maker.

Well, not always. I wasn’t yearning for one back when I was in diapers, for instance. Plus, they didn’t even exist until 1986, according to the link. Let’s just say I’ve thought it would be cool to own one for years now, Mr. Foodie that I am. A coworker brought one in to the office one time, and for hours tortured us with the smell of freshly baking bread. It was delicious, too. I’ve always remembered that.

I never bought one because I was suspicious. Bread machines are for sale at practically every garage sale you stumble upon – and they’re usually really cheap. I figured, they must not be worth the trouble…why else would everybody be so eager to get rid of them? And sure enough, any time I’d ask about their bread maker, they’d say something like “I only used it once or twice…seemed like too much work.”

Too much work?! On the contrary, bread makers couldn’t be easier to use! All you do is measure out a few ingredients, put them in the pan, and press start. Seriously, it’s that easy. You sit back and, three hours later, end up with a perfect loaf of bread. I know this, because I finally broke down and bought one last week. Off Craigslist. Cheap.

And it works like a charm! I grabbed a few ingredients from Freddy’s last week (flour, yeast, etc.), placed them in my baby cart, brought ‘em home, and a few hours later had a loaf of hot cheddar chive bread to serve to my dinner guests. And then last night, I made banana macadamia nut bread, which I turned into probably the best French toast of my life this morning. I’d say this bread maker will pay for itself in no time!

Between “Breaking Bad” and “Dexter”…

The past two Sunday nights have been the best TV nights ever.

I love both shows. I’d have to give the edge to Breaking Bad, though. It’s the story of a former high school chemistry teacher who was diagnosed with cancer and ends up cooking meth to provide for his family. He was once a good and noble guy, but has since transformed into a truly heartless and just plain bad son of a bitch. It makes for riveting drama. Dexter centers on a serial killer who only victimizes other people who have committed murder. Great concept, especially watching him deal with his “Dark Passenger” while trying to raise a toddler on his own. Both Michael C. Hall and Bryan Cranston are phenomenal in their roles, and those two shows represent my ideal block of Must See TV.

Unfortunately, Breaking Bad‘s season just ended, and it won’t return until next summer. This does not bode well for me. Impatient as hell, remember?

Speaking of…is it Wednesday yet?!?!?!?!

Late To The Party

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Last night’s season premiere of Lost was typically mind-blowing. For weeks – actually, months (come to think of it, pretty much since the closing credits of the Season 5 finale last May were scrolling across the screen) – I have been eagerly awaiting the return of John, Jack and company. There has never been a show like Lost before – it is wildly inventive, original, creative, and completely unpredictable. How JJ Abrams ever pitched the idea to ABC, and sold them on it, is beyond me.

My excitement over the drama is sort of funny in a way, though. Because as much as I love it now and consider it the quintessential definition of Must-See TV, I can’t claim to have been a fan from the start. As a matter of fact, I didn’t catch my first episode until Season 3 was winding down. Positive word-of-mouth and a burning curiosity (not to mention a Netflix subscription) drove me to seek out what I’d missed during the summer doldrums of 2007, and by the time I’d gotten all caught up, I considered myself a hardcore fan.

I should have been into Lost from the start. I’m a sci-fi junkie with an interest in concepts like time travel, ghosts, alternate realities, and life after death. It’s almost like the show was written just for me. In my defense, I didn’t know it would contain all those plot elements when it first came out. Plane crashes on an island, there are survivors. Interesting, but hardly original. And where was Wilson, the volleyball? I’d already watched Tom Hanks lose a ton of weight and grow a long, scraggly beard. Wasn’t sure I wanted to watch a whole season’s worth of that (or many seasons, as it turned out). So sue me, I was wrong.

It’s not the first time I’ve become a huge fan of a show after it’s already achieved mainstream popularity, or at the least, a dedicated cult following. Take Dexter, for instance. I love it, and think it’s one of the best shows on TV, hands down. I subscribe to Showtime every year for three months just to catch it, and then promptly cancel my subscription after. I’ve even taken to dressing like Dexter at work, appropriating his casual attire and making it my “look.” Obsess much, Mark? It’s right up my alley – the concept of a sympathetic serial killer only offing the bad guys, and how human (or inhuman) he appears in his interactions with others. Love it to death (ha). The show is killer (okay, stretching for the laugh now). And yet, I didn’t discover it until the second season.

And then there’s my favorite sitcom, The Office. This one I did watch right from the start! But…only the first two episodes. And then I gave up on it (I’ve been asking myself why ever since), until the following season, when a coworker waxed enthusiastically over it every Friday. I picked it up again, and nowadays, would be lost without my weekly Michael Scott fix.

True Blood is my most recent example of showing up late to the party. The hype over season one intrigued me enough to catch up on Netflix. At least this time I was only twelve episodes behind. There are other shows, like Mad Men and 30 Rock, that I feel I should be watching, but honestly, I can’t afford another emotional television investment these days – my dance card is full enough already.

To be fair, once or twice I have actually been ahead of the game. I eagerly queued up for a brand new sitcom in the late 80s, a little show about nothing called Seinfeld, because I was a fan of Jerry-the-comedian and the premise looked intriguing. I am proud to say I walked around that entire first season, extolling its virtues to everybody within earshot, while the show languished and ratings were in the toilet. Eventually, of course, it caught on and became a pop-culture phenomenon. And I could proudly say that I was there right from the start.

That hasn’t happened since, and it may never occur again. But that’s neither here nor there.

It’s hard to predict what’s going to be big and what isn’t. I was on board with a drama called Journeyman right from the start. Loved it…but America didn’t. Cue the cancellation music. Same with Swingtown. And Pushing Daisies wasn’t initially on my radar, but there was lots of hype so I jumped on board that bandwagon a week after the premiere…only to see the show pushing up its own daisies soon after. Oh, well. I tried.

I think the real takeaway from all of this is…I watch too damn much television!